Responsible Father

It’s a good goal, don’t you think? A child who feels they are entitled to good things is a spoiled child. You want to work to prevent that type of attitude. You want them to see God’s grace and mercy.

Here’s one way – Thank Him for small things.

In your prayers with your family, be thankful for things that you might be tempted to consider insignificant.

Beds for example – the typical American child’s bed, when considering all sleeping situation used by children down through human history, are in perhaps the top one percent, in terms of comfort. Shouldn’t we be thankful for that?

Or green grass. Since lawns don’t exist naturally, it is only recently that they have been a common experience. So if you have a lawn in your backyard (or near your home) which is comfortable to sit in, or picnic on, or lay back on, you are blessed.

Or Air Conditioning, or good drinkable water, or a safe home.

When it is 10 below, and I thank God for a heated house, I am trying to encourage my kids to think “Oh, yeah, there are people that are outside in this. I am thankful for this warmth.”

If your child is thankful for something, he is not taking it for granted. And then you just have to point them to the Giver of that thing.

What other things can we be thankful for that we normally aren’t?

So this summer I was in a discussion with three moms (one of them my wife) who have between the experience of giving birth 17 times. I mentioned my hope that someday my wife might have the chance to be in a delivery room as a witness, not as the laborer; to experience it from the standpoint of someone other than the Mom giving birth.

She said, and the other two women agreed, that she had no interest – there seemed to be strong agreement among them that they seen enough of that particular hospital room. No thanks.

Let me say this, as someone who has done this thing that none of them has – Women, while the labor witness experience is not pleasurable (how could it be, watching someone in pain?) it is nevertheless an honor to be there. It is an experience that is worth it. You get to see the first moments of a child’s postnatal life. A child made in the image of God. It is incredible.

I’m not saying that you should beg someone to let you do this. Rather, I’m saying that if offered the opportunity from someone you love (say, a sister or a daughter), consider taking it.

I recently posted 11 things I learned recently while on a trip with my wife.

Here (on our actual 15th anniversary) are –

15 Things I Already Knew About My Wife

1. She’s an awesomely talented soprano.
2. She’s more organized than me, and I’m fairly organized.
3. She’s a beginner.
4. She dreams. Good dreams.
5. She is very interested in the state of our children’s hearts.
6. She holds me back from foolishness.
7. She likes picnics, State Parks, and Lake Superior.
8. She makes great brownies. She once made a pan for me to bring to work and the serious older programmer suggested that I ask her to bring them in once a week. He suggested Mondays.
9. She has the right amount of interest in making herself attractive.
10. She is not a legalist.
11. She has strong, cute, perceiving eyes that flash with beauty.
12. She censored censored censored censored.
13. She never lies.
14. She has infected our kids with the goal of having a larger family.
15. She loves me.

Over at my other blog, I have previously mentioned the shock I experienced when I first noticed 1 Thess 3:9-10 –

9 For what thanksgiving can we return to God for you, for all the joy that we feel for your sake before our God, 10 as we pray most earnestly night and day that we may see you face to face and supply what is lacking in your faith?

My shock was that it appears that one human can supply what is ‘lacking in <another human’s> faith’. I consider this to be a high calling; it is an honor to have God working through us in this way.

As I considered my small role in one classroom of one church, I look forward to opportunities to do this. If you are volunteering at your church, you should be looking forward to this as well. Right? The children you are working with have gaps in their faith. You get to be a part of filling in those gaps.

And another thing might happen. None of our faiths are gap-less – we all are lacking in many areas. And it may be that a student that you are working with (whether she is 18, or 12 or 2) will say something that hits you between your eyes. Something you needed to hear.

If that happens, thank God.

6 Nice Things About Not Having Your Kids With You On Vacation

1. Meals are cheaper.
2. Getting in and out of the vehicle is faster.
3. You have to say ‘No’ fewer times when at a gift shop.
4. Less complaining about hills on hikes.
5. Less chance of someone running off a cliff or falling into a bonfire.
6. Less stickiness when making s’mores.

6 Sad Things About Not Having Your Kids With You On Vacation

1. Holding your breath while going under tunnels is less fun.
2. A smaller sense of accomplishment when getting to the top of a lookout hike.
3. All the times you think, ‘Boy, the kids would love this’.
4. When you suggest an activity, no one jumps up and down and yells, “Yay!”
5. Guilt about how much work the babysitters are doing right now as you lazily sit in a cafe waiting for your Wild Rice Porridge to come.
6. Two people walking around a state park is not nearly as impressive (conspicuous? notable?) when they don’t have their seven kids with them.

And my wife and I are going to be celebrating our fifteenth wedding anniversary by hopping onto the highway entitled I-35.

We’ll be heading back to the beautiful North Shore and staying at Beautiful Grand Superior Lodge.

And my Mom will be with 6 of our kids for three days and two nights. We are grateful.

All that to say – I may not be posting very much.

Last week I posted about how one of my sons experienced something for the first time that he will be enjoying for many years, God willing.

Today another son learned that something that he has been enjoying for years will never be something he experiences again.

Daniel is ten and for a couple months on shopping trips he has been asking me if he can get a ride on the shopping cart by hanging on the outside with some of his younger siblings*. And for perhaps half a year I have been telling him ‘no’. He is TEN. He weighs EIGHTY POUNDS (okay, I’m guessing here). He makes the cart significantly more unwieldy. And walking around a store with 7 kids, I want my shopping carts to be as wieldy as possible.

So today at Target he politely asked again and I decided to lay out the bad and horrible truth to him: He will never again in his life get a ride on a shopping cart.

At least from me and almost certainly not from his Mom.

Never.

I was surprised at how well he took it.

Other rules that I have with shopping cart rides:

1. No dragging your foot.
2. If we are next to Mom and she has a cart as well, do not touch it.
3. Also don’t touch the product displays.
4. Don’t be digging around in whatever I have put in the cart.
5. Actually, just basically don’t touch anything except the cart you are riding on. And finally,
6. Do not get between me and the cart’s push bar.

This often seems like too much to ask of children – at least they receive these rules as if I’m putting a heavy burden on them. It is at these times that I remind them: You are getting a free ride around a store. Don’t push it.

* Since we have been told by at least one Target employee that this is against the safety rules, I’d appreciated if you kept the fact that we do this on the down-low.