At times discipline, wisely administered by loving parents, will sting.
This does not make you a mean Dad or Mom.
Generally speaking for a family of, say, three or more kids, ordering from the Children’s Menu is not the best value.
Split up adult menu items.
As many Responsible readers know, the Jamisons like going on picnics and we go on a lot of them. For the past several years we have been increasing the number of picnics that we have experienced together as a family and in 2009 we went on 92 picnics.
This year, 2010, will be the 10th year we’ve done this, and I am hoping to make it to 100. I have no idea if we’re going to be successful*. We’ll see.
We have in the past, had some difficulty deciding what we would call a picnic. For example, for a meal to be a picnic, doesn’t it have to be outdoors? It turns out, no. No, it doesn’t.
We have decided that if a meal (A) takes place in a winter month, (B) is eaten on the floor on a picnic blanket or at a picnic table, (C) has picnic-like foodstuffs, and (D) is in a park of some sort. . . well, then we’re calling it a picnic!
So today we sat on our big blanket eating subway sandwiches and drinking out of our picnic bottles, in front of a the big windows of the great hall at the new Silverwood Park Center overlooking the frozen lake.
Imagine this with snow
. . . and when a lady walked by and said, “That looks like a nice place for a picnic!” I was gratified.
So off we go. Only 99 left.
If you and your family would like to meet us on a picnic sometime this year, let us know!
* I was tempted, momentarily, to ask you to pray for us in this endeavor, but that seems a rather silly prayer for us, doesn’t it? By all means, if you have an inkling to pray for us, please do so, but I request that you pray for something more substantial than a lot of picnics. Salvation for all of our kids, for example.
Dads, you know that truism that when wives tell you about difficulties they aren’t looking for how to solve it, they just want you to listen?
This may be especially true when they call you at work, bothered with the way their day is going. Just listen.
Don’t say “Well what can I do about it now?”
Just listen.
Here is the beginning of the sobering preface:
I have two children. I used to have three. My third child didn’t grow up and leave home, she didn’t die. I relinquished her. I stood before a judge and said that I was no longer able to meet her needs. She is living with another family now and has a new last name.
For five years she called me “Mom” Now she calls someone else that. . . . I still wake up each day and go to bed at night asking myself “How did I get here? Were those five years a dream?” Aren’t adoptions stories supposed to have happy endings?
While many adoptions stories do have happy endings, this is not one of them . . .
So –
11 Reasons I’m Glad The Book Disrupting Grace Was Written
- It’s a well written, engaging story. It makes you want to turn the page.
- I wonder if this book is the first of it’s kind. If so, it was needed. People need to understand that ‘relinquishing’ a child is sometimes a needed, wise and godly choice.
- I know the author. We prayed for this family while they were going through this story. I’m guessing that writing out this book was helpful for Kristen. Good.
- This book will be an encouragement to parents who have experienced difficulty with a child because it will show them that there are other families who go through similar struggles.
- This book will be an encouragement to (some) parents who have experienced difficulty with a child because it will show them they don’t have it as difficult as other families. This certainly happened to us. It was a blessing.
- This book will encourage those who know others who are having difficulty with a child to not negatively judge.
- This book will take away some guilt for families who have (or who are planning to) give up a child.
- This book is a helpful case study of severe Attachment Disorder. I had heard about this but now I have a much more complete understanding of what is meant by this title.
- The Gospel is uncovered in passages like this:
“. . . Yet, I felt like the Lord was teaching me, revealing to me that the way Emma behaved with me is not unlike the way I behave with God sometimes. Like an unattached child, I am preoccupied with my needs, with what I want. I look to get my needs met with other things or relationships. . . I make choices at times that inflict self-harm. . . . Most importantly, He gives love that I cannot ever work hard enough to earn . . .”
10 . The ending, which is surprisingly uplifting, will help people understand that it is unwise to say that adoptive parents who experience great hardship were foolish to adopt.
11. All this is done in 136 pages. My wife and I read it out loud to each other in less than a week.
I recommend you take a look.
Yesterday, in one sitting, 22 pound son Foster dranks a cup of milk (8 oz – along with regular solid food). This is not uncommon for him nor is it uncommon for a typical 14 month old, which he is.
If I were to drink a comparable amount of milk, I would have to drink a half gallon plus a pint.
I figured this out comparing my weight to his. Here’s your homework:
1. How much do I weigh?
2. What interesting my-weight-to-Foster’s-weight factor currently exists?
I’m doing something that I haven’t ever done before – reposting something I have previously put up.
I’m doing it for a few reasons:
Firstly, it was a fairly well received post, secondly it makes more sense to have it here at the father blog than my other blog.
But the main reason I’m doing it now is – Earlier this week I commented (with a link to the previous post) over at Stuff Christians Like and lots of people have come from that post. Several of them have written out their divorce and almost divorce stories. They are quite interesting. I recommend you go over and look at it.
Here is the post. But please know that it is not my intention to judge people who have divorces in their history.
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I’ve got a few years before I put this in play, but I am thinking about something I’m going to start telling my kids in their teen-age years (i.e. before they start Dating/Courting).
It would go something like this:
Asking someone to marry you, or saying ‘Yes’ to a proposal is a pretty big step, and a pretty strong commitment, but during your engagement period, even if it’s the day before your wedding, we will support you if you really want to break off marriage plans.
We might encourage you to rethink your decision, and suggest that maybe you are just getting cold feet, but if in the end you don’t want to get married to this person, for whatever reason, we will support this decision.
But (and here is the main point), once you get married, if things go bad, we will not support your decision to divorce your spouse, except for extremely extreme reasons*. We will encourage you in a hard marriage, we will protect you in a dangerous marriage, we might encourage temporary separation, we will pray for your marriage and we will hold you and cry with you. But we will not say that it is okay for you to end the marriage.
So it will not be grounds for divorce (from the perspective of our family) if you feel like your spouse doesn’t love you anymore, or isn’t really a Christian, or is abusive, or is a workaholic, or really bad with finances or lazy or mean or whatever.
(Again, I would tell them this before they find The One, so they don’t think it’s about that person.)
What do you think? Too harsh?
I feel like I want to get them to agree in writing that we are reasonable in saying this. But that may be a little over the top.
*The big question is, what would be the extremely extreme reasons. Severe Physical abuse? Only unfaithfulness? Pastor John wouldn’t even agree to that as a reason for divorce.
(In agreement with Abraham)
Dads, resist the temptation to buy that bigger TV and consider not replacing your current box when it dies.
The next time you’re tearing down an interior wall in your home, hand out hammers to your kids and let them go at it. You’ll be impressed at their willingness and speed.
Taking Down The Wall
Last weekend, very graciously, Debbie’s dad (Keith) came and we worked hard to take out the interior wall of our kitchen for more kitchen space and to open it up to the rest of our upstairs.
First pictures, then explanations.
Before
After
A. This is where the wall used to meet the ceiling. There’s still about two 2X4s of thickness sticking out.
B. Note the light fixture switches. We’re thinking about keeping them up there but fear that having light switches eight feet high might hurt the resale value of our home.
C. Debbie has never been fond of this wallpaper trim and was happy to see half of it be taken out of the home. The remainder will be gone at some point. She’s thinking about steaming it off.
D. This is an outlet that used to be in the wall. It’s handy to have it moveable, but, again, we fear that inspectors might not find this to be up to code.
E. These are the cabinets and counter that used to be in the kitchen.
F. One bad thing about the great room feel is we lose space for hanging photos. This is about all we have in the entire kitchen dining area.
G. Yea! We can see out to the south from our living room!
H. Yes, that is subflooring where the cabinet used to be.
I. We cut off most of this wall, but left some in case we want to put an outlet or light switch there later. PhilTheCarl, any ideas?
J. Yes, that is cut up plastic bags keeping attic insulation from falling into our kitchen.
K This is our temporary island – we’re hoping to use it to help us figure out where to put the real thing.
L. Who wouldn’t want halogen lights in the kitchen? It gives a cool glow reminiscent of lighting used by astronauts while they were on the moon.
M. The microwave. It hasn’t worked since about a month after we moved into the house.
So yes, we have much work to do on pretty much every aspect of the project (any suggestions or tips?). But phase one is done.
We are grateful to Keith for all his help and to God for safety.
Responsible Father 