If you have a toddler who is just starting to talk, but is not yet able to count, make sure you count lots of things out loud while you are with him. It helps for him/her to hear the numbers in order. Repetition works.
I got home from a Sunday event (with Daniel and church 6th graders) this afternoon and Debbie had left for her own Sunday event (with Adelyn and church 3rd graders) and she hadn’t had time to make the lasagna that we needed for this evening. She left this on the counter for me.
. . . and I thought to myself – it can’t be that easy.
But it turns out it was.
I (with my kids help and only a third of a year of Home Ec junior high training) was able to do this with Debbie not even in the home*. I recommend this for any dad. You need only the ingredients!
* Let me just add a bit more detail: spray the pan first and put tin foil over it when you put it in – 350 degrees for 1.5 hours.
Dads, be careful. Most children at times learn things very quickly. Assuming that he/she is a genius is setting yourself up (an potentially your child) for disappointment.
Still – by all means praise your children for anything they accomplish, large and small.
Dads, give yourself permission to not be bothered when your kids are better than you (more skilled or gifted) in some arena.
. . go on a picnic yesterday.
I was not planning it but my kids wanted to. I am not a Dad who is often going to turn down that request.
When we got home I checked and discovered that this is our earliest indoor Minnesota picnic.
It turned out to be quite fun and the kids got to stretch their legs a bit.
What’s that? You say you want proof? Well, . . . .
You’ll just have to take my word for it.
Every family with children experiences situations where a child or two is having a meltdown. Perhaps its a result of chronic pain, or the child won’t go to sleep or is just upset for an unknown reason. And the child cries for what seems like hours, but really is only minutes . . .
Dads, be aware that a crying child situation is like a headwind against godly parenting behavior. It will cause you to trend towards being cranky or less patient with your wife or children. Be on guard against this.
I’ve mentioned before that I have been reading LOTR out loud to our kids these last few months. We started July 16, 2009 and last night – 19 months later – we finished.
<I’d put the last line here, but I don’t want to ruin it for those who haven’t read it yet.>
Knowing that we had only six pages left of the book I wanted to do something special. So we drove over to Panera and the kids listened as they enjoyed Smoothies and Cinnamon rolls. An enjoyable ending.
Other comments:
– Some might be thinking – Aren’t your kids a little young for this book? And sir, my answer: Yes, it’s quite possible that my seven year old didn’t catch all of the nuances in the narative. Honestly I was torn on this issue and still am. But my oldest was eleven! I couldn’t wait any longer.
– I hadn’t remembered this, but Carl mentioned last night that we began the book on vacation at Cascade Lodge. Very fitting.
– It’s such a perfect ending for a book, except for one thing that I’ll note: It is too short.
– If you interested in a pretty good chapter by chapter review of the book, you can find it here.
– I’ll be going through the very important After-The-End-Of-The-Book-Events timeline with them sometime soon. We did note in the appendix that one of the major characters ended up having 14 kids. Yikes.
– I predict we’ll read it again, outloud, say in ten years.
– Big question: Who should we let watch the movie?
– Heard from the back of the van as we drove home: Thanks for bringing us, Daddy!
– Also heard: “What are we going to read next?”
Dads, here’s a nightmare scenario that I fear happens too often.
1. Young Child works really hard on a project, hoping to please Dad.
2. Young Child approaches Dad with finished project, but (because of an honest lack of understanding of timing) comes at a time when Dad is (legitimately or illegitimately) really really focused on something else.
3. Dad (because of an honest lack of understanding of the work put into the project) does not give proper attention, amazement or Kudos to Young Child for what they have accomplished.
4. Young Child goes away sad, not understanding why Dad didn’t care about what he/she had done.
Isn’t this one of the worst situations you can imagine? Choose to give good attention to your child’s project even if you’re not sure how important it is. Also – Ask your wife to give you a heads-up when the child has been working hard on something.
Dads – The Bible indicates in many places that Children Are A Blessing (i.e. You should want the kids you have and more). There are steps you can take to make this promise more true. Determine what these steps are in your situation.
My children’s last living great-grandparent was their mom’s mom’s mom. She died on December 14th, 2010. She was an extraordinary woman. Let me tell you about her.
But first a little background. The extended family that I grew up with was a family that (1) showed love to each other, (2) showed love for God and (3) had a love for music. Even before Debbie and I were married, I could see this was true for her extended family as well. It was something that helped draw me to Debbie. It was, and still is, a thing of beauty. And this trinity of love stems greatly from the soft, cheerful, uncomplaining spirit shown daily in Debbie’s grandmother.
I have never heard anyone say a negative word about her.
EARLY MEMORIES
I recall the first time I visited their home that first summer that I dated Debbie. Debbie and I had decided that we would not kiss until right before our wedding. And so it turned out that the first kiss I received from anyone in her family was the gentle kiss on the cheek from her grandmother as we were leaving.
PRAYER
As each of our children were born, Debbie’s grandmother knitted them blankets. They are still treasured. One of them was treasured to the point of near disintegration. But infinitely more valuable to us was the fact that she prayed every day (sometimes twice) for all of us, including all of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I look forward to finding out one day all the ways our lives were blessed by these prayers.
BLESSINGS
But here’s a few we know about right now . . .
Of Debbie’s grandmother’s 19 great-grandchildren, six of them were adopted from four different continents. All of her children and grandchildren are actively serving in their evangelical churches. As far as I know, none of them have experience even a short period of backsliding or rebellion. All of the marriages are strong. Is this not remarkable?
I rejoice daily at the blessing I personally receive for having been married into this family. And I can see behind all of these strong traits the whispered prayers of Connie Eagan.
THE TESTIMONY
Debbie’s grandmother was almost 94. At her funeral, they read her testimony; it was full of the Gospel and explained how she came to know Jesus as her Savior. It was wonderful to hear yet another reassurance that she was saved and she is now enjoying new life with her Heavenly Father. I am so glad my kids got to hear it.
The last sentence from her testimony was “and I have never regretted this decision.”
Amen.
Responsible Father 