In last week’s post about getting your child to understanding sin, I casually remarked that you should apologize if you have sinned in the situation that you are about to discipline your child for. I said this like it’s no big deal to apologize to your child.
But, especially the first few times, this was quite difficult for me and didn’t feel right.
Most of us don’t like to admit wrong. Admitting wrong to a child is another dimension more difficult. And there can be thoughts in your held telling you (for seemingly solid but ultimately non-valid reasons) that it wouldn’t be wise to express regret to your child for something you’ve said to them.
Here are some of them:
Nine Bad Reasons To Not Apologize To Your Son Or Daughter When You’ve Done Wrong To Them:
– He might think that treating him like that is not sinful for me (or for his Mom) and I don’t want to disabuse them of that thinking.
– It will make me appear weak. The leader of the family shouldn’t show weakness.
– It might make them feel like they were justified in the sinful way that they responded to me.
– I just apologized last week. I don’t want to set a precedence*.
– It will take longer for my kids to forget what I did if I make a big deal about it.
– As a parent, I’m supposed to be like God, and this will show that I’m not.
– It might get out that I apologized for this.
– I’m supposed to be perfect. I don’t want to let them think otherwise.
– What if he/she isn’t willing to forgive me?
Am I missing any?
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* Of course, just like any other relationship, if you find yourself asking for forgiveness from your child too often, then perhaps significant change might be in order. Pray. Ask for Grace. Repent.
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August 25, 2009 at 2:46 pm
abigailsleftovers
I think you could just as easily reverse your last statement:
“* Of course, just like any other relationship, if you find yourself asking for forgiveness from your child too [infrequently], then perhaps significant change might be in order. Pray. Ask for Grace. Repent.”
My guess would be that even the most holy person (not Jesus) could not over-ask for forgiveness from those he or she offends. Our sin is probably always ahead of our ability to make things right with those closest to us.
March 17, 2010 at 9:52 pm
Marilyn
As a parent I love this site, as a grandparent I have a problem. There was a time……….. and then there is now. They are better… better lookingl…. and almost as smart…………….. Again they are better and funnier, better looking and smarter than their parents. Love them more……………..