As father, you should (1) make sure this happens, and (2) make sure it happens with Grace and Love.

Proverbs 6:20-21

My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching. Bind them on your heart always; tie them around your neck.

So the primary truth in this verse is that kids should consider their parent’s words and teachings to be very important.

But I think there is a message for parents as well: Be careful what you teach them. Because God is telling them to bind these words on their hearts.

If you are not careful, you might drag them down with unhelpful rules and criticism. You might bind them up with legalism or permissivism. You might pull them apart with inconsistency.

Your guidance should serve to lead them, protect them and point them to the Gospel.

Dads, let’s say you’re at work and as a part of the celebration for the fact that you’ve worked at your company for fifteen years they give you an ‘Anniversary’ helium balloon. Don’t be like my boss and leave it at work.

No. Here’s what you do: You take that balloon home and let your kids play with it.

He just turned nine.

Here are some things you should know about Erik

1. He likes physical touch. We knew this even before he walked up to Debbie and I one morning (four years ago) as we were saying goodbye and said, “Hug Group!”. He is the one who most often requests that all of us wrestle.

2. For his age, he’s the tallest of our children.

3. He likes to laugh and he tries to make us laugh. And I like it when I make him laugh.

4. When Debbie asked him what he’d like to do with her, he answered “Make a cherry pie”. Our whole family benefited from the result.

5. We love Erik and we’re glad he’s a part of our family.

Dad’s, it might not be often, but there may be times when this kind of limited democracy works in making a decision with your kids.

I should also mention that at some time that weekend Debbie went into labor.

Sunday morning we still didn’t have power, but our friends Chris and Nina invited us and our three boys over for Sunday dinner (Roast Beef!) and Debbie remembers sitting at the table and cringing every fifteen minutes when the next contraction hit.

And the next day, Adelyn Rose was born!

Our first girl. So Debbie made dresses. And the boys like to hold her. And she gave us joy.

And now she is ten! She still gives us joy.

Let me tell you three things about her.

1. She still likes wearing dresses. She is almost never seen not wearing one.

2. She likes setting a table. Whereas most of our kids like to be surprised by a table all set and made fancy for the birthday meal, it was her joy this weekend to stay up late to make the table exactly like she wanted it.

3. She was pretty much in heaven at the Father Daughter Tea last weekend. Roses, royalty, dressing up, elegant dining, focused attention from her dad, wearing white gloves. Yes, how could it get any better?

Oh and also –

4. She likes small things, even if they are  snakes. Please see the corresponding picture.

Adelyn is loved by her parents, her siblings, her friends and her heavenly father. On her birthday, I prayed that this year she will be drawn closer to God.

May He grant that it be so.

That’s especially true with how you explain your regret and sadness and wish for forgiveness to your children.