Responsible Father

What Are You Tying Around Your Child’s Neck?

jamsco — Fri, 25 May 2012 06:24:47 +0000

As I wrote this week’s fighter verse song application post, I starting thinking that there might be a hidden command in it.

Proverbs 6:20-21

My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching. Bind them on your heart always; tie them around your neck.

So the primary truth in this verse is that kids should consider their parent’s words and teachings to be very important.

But I think there is a message for parents as well: Be careful what you teach them. Because God is telling them to bind these words on their hearts.

If you are not careful, you might drag them down with unhelpful rules and criticism. You might bind them up with legalism or permissivism. You might pull them apart with inconsistency.

Your guidance should serve to lead them, protect them and point them to the Gospel.

Tuesday Tip: Do They Have It Right?

jamsco — Tue, 22 May 2012 18:19:02 +0000

Dads, ask your son or daughter to tell you what they think the Gospel is. Ask for clarification when they are vague, encourage them where they have it right and correct them where they don’t.

Tuesday Tip: This Goes For Other Things You Might Get At Work, Too

jamsco — Tue, 15 May 2012 16:30:09 +0000

Dads, let’s say you’re at work and as a part of the celebration for the fact that you’ve worked at your company for fifteen years they give you an ‘Anniversary’ helium balloon. Don’t be like my boss and leave it at work.

No. Here’s what you do: You take that balloon home and let your kids play with it.

Erik Is 9!

jamsco — Mon, 14 May 2012 07:44:19 +0000

Our son Erik was born one year and a day after his older sister Adelyn was born.

He just turned nine.

Here are some things you should know about Erik

1. He likes physical touch. We knew this even before he walked up to Debbie and I one morning (four years ago) as we were saying goodbye and said, “Hug Group!”. He is the one who most often requests that all of us wrestle.

2. For his age, he’s the tallest of our children.

3. He likes to laugh and he tries to make us laugh. And I like it when I make him laugh.

4. When Debbie asked him what he’d like to do with her, he answered “Make a cherry pie”. Our whole family benefited from the result.

5. We love Erik and we’re glad he’s a part of our family.

Tuesday Tip: What You Should Get Back To Again

jamsco — Tue, 08 May 2012 14:49:09 +0000

Dads, have you told your kids about the Gospel this week?

Tuesday Tip: For Decision Making

jamsco — Wed, 02 May 2012 06:06:51 +0000

When Debbie and I were infanticipating our first child (i.e. when she was pregnant with Carl), we went to the pre-labor this-is-what-you-should-be-ready-for class at her doctor’s clinic. The leader told us at the beginning of the class that we would make some of the decisions (when to take breaks, etc) by way of a “limited democracy” – which went this way: She would ask us how we wanted to do it and she would go with the first person who answered’s answer.

Dad’s, it might not be often, but there may be times when this kind of limited democracy works in making a decision with your kids.

Ten Years Old

jamsco — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:50:06 +0000

Ten years ago this weekend (the last weekend in April) the Twin Cites had a blizzard. I’m on record as saying that I am the insane type of person who likes that kind of late snow storm, but this was had snow heavy enough to knock down power lines, and some time during that weekend we lost power.

I should also mention that at some time that weekend Debbie went into labor.

Sunday morning we still didn’t have power, but our friends Chris and Nina invited us and our three boys over for Sunday dinner (Roast Beef!) and Debbie remembers sitting at the table and cringing every fifteen minutes when the next contraction hit.

And the next day, Adelyn Rose was born!

Our first girl. So Debbie made dresses. And the boys like to hold her. And she gave us joy.

And now she is ten! She still gives us joy.

Let me tell you three things about her.

1. She still likes wearing dresses. She is almost never seen not wearing one.

2. She likes setting a table. Whereas most of our kids like to be surprised by a table all set and made fancy for the birthday meal, it was her joy this weekend to stay up late to make the table exactly like she wanted it.

3. She was pretty much in heaven at the Father Daughter Tea last weekend. Roses, royalty, dressing up, elegant dining, focused attention from her dad, wearing white gloves. Yes, how could it get any better?

Oh and also –

4. She likes small things, even if they are snakes. Please see the corresponding picture.

Adelyn is loved by her parents, her siblings, her friends and her heavenly father. On her birthday, I prayed that this year she will be drawn closer to God.

May He grant that it be so.

Tuesday Tip: No Disclaimers

jamsco — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 15:56:08 +0000

Dads, do you know what they say about authentic apologizing? That you shouldn’t say, “I’m sorry, but . . . ” or “I’m sorry if . . . “?

That’s especially true with how you explain your regret and sadness and wish for forgiveness to your children.

Tuesday Tip: There is no ‘I guess’

jamsco — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 04:34:39 +0000

Dads, there are times when your wife wants you to do something that saying a hesitant ‘Yes’ is worse than saying ‘No’. Figure out when these times are.

Sunday Interesting Weekend: Demo

jamsco — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 06:04:02 +0000

(i.e. demolition)

We are in the process of remodeling our kitchen, and not being a family with vast resources of wealth at our disposal, we are doing as much as we have the skill to do on our own.

This weekend’s goal: Prepare the floor for the new wood flooring – this mean using tools to pry up the old particle board. Not really that easy.

So Saturday morning at 9:00, I set to it, with the five foot long crow bar our flooring guy had loaned to us.

Barrett was helping me by putting our little crow bar under the board so I could position the big crow bar under there farther.

After some time, I got warm and went to change cooler clothing and when I got back, this is what I saw:

In the off chance that these pictures aren’t completely discriptatory,

(1) Barrett was working the big crowbar,
(2) Anna was assisting with the little crowbar,
(3) Adelyn and Erik were pounding the nails down on the pieces that Barrett and Anna had already pulled up.

They worked together in this way for a significant portion of the flooring. All I had to do was bring the flooring outside to the junk pile.

And they did this without me asking them to.

I was grateful.