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I might recommend that you start with #3 – The Main Statement.
3. Main Statement
4. Naming And Claiming Jesus’ Cleansing Of The Temple
5. Clarification – First Bible Passage
6. When Jesus was angry.
7. The Be Angry And Do Not Sin Verses.
8. Righteous Anger.
9. Why You Are Angry – The Anger Grid
10. Why Dads Get Angry
11. Hurrying Your Children
Oh, and about the artwork.
And I’d love to read any feedback you have on any of these posts.
Dads should never show anger towards their children.
Showing anger towards your children is always unwise.
Now, there is no Bible verse that states or implies this, so I’m standing on slightly shaky ground. I’ll be trying to lay a strong foundation in future posts – but for now …
If you disagree, try describing a time when showing anger towards a child is wise or necessary.
Also – two questions:
1. Do you try to not show anger towards your children when you are out in public?
2. The last time you saw a parent out in public showing anger towards his or her child, did you lose respect for them as a parent?
If your answer is ‘yes’ for either of them, can I ask why? I’d guess it’s because we feel it’s a bad sign if parents get angry with their children in public.
And if it’s true in public, why not in private?
The definition I found in the dictionary includes the idea of retribution. The angry person has an “impulse to retaliate”. Revenge should not be a motivation when you a responding to a child. As a parent you should be hoping to train, to discipline, to love, to teach, but not to retaliate.
Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you. Proverbs 20:22 NIV
If this is true with your enemy, it should be true with your child.
So – do you agree or disagree with my statement? If you disagree, can you give me an example of a situation where it is right or helpful to show anger?
In any case, can you live like that? Can you decide to not show anger against your child?
Click here to see the list of posts in this series.
I think it would be helpful for me to define what I mean when I say Anger.
I looked in the dictionary on our bookshelf (The Random House College Dictionary) and saw these two definitions for Anger:
A strong feeling of belligerence or displeasure aroused by a real or supposed wrong
Sudden violent displeasure accompanied by an impulse to retaliate
I like parts (but not all) of both of these definitions. This is how I would combine them:
Jamison Definition of Anger:
A feeling of belligerence or displeasure, accompanied by an impulse to retaliate, aroused by a real or supposed wrong.
- I don’t think all anger is “Sudden”,”Violent” or “Strong” so I took those words out.
- I agree that the feeling is aroused by a wrong, and I like that it’s pointed out that the wrong might be supposed.
- I think an important idea that a key aspect of anger is “an impulse to retaliate”.
In any event, going forward with these posts, the keys aspects in what I mean when I say “Anger” are that an angry person experiences these two feelings: “I’ve been wronged” and “Someone should pay”.
What do you think? Is there anything missing from this definition? Does it include too much?
Click here to see the list of posts in this series.
Here on January First, 2014, I’m starting a new set of posts about Dads and Anger
Question 1. Why Dads (and not Moms)?
(A) I think that dads, as God’s leaders of homes (in most situations), have a bigger responsibility to stay under control.
(B) I think dads are more likely than moms to lose their temper.
(C) I think dads do more damage to families with their anger than moms do.
(D) I will leave it to a woman to write posts about Moms and Anger. I think that men should advise and lecture men and women should advise and lecture women.
(E) If you are bothered by any of these, feel free to apply the posts to moms. Many of the ideas cross gender.
Question 3. Have you, Scott Jamison, had issues with sinful anger as a dad?
Answer: Yes. Verbal anger, not physical anger. By God’s grace, I’ve been seeing improvement. But it is one of the reasons I have thoughts about this. Thoughts I’d like to share. But I do not want people to think I’m perfect in this area. And yes, I continue to be aware of the Advice Giver’s Dilemma.
Perhaps I should have titled this blog series: “Christian Dads and Anger”, or “Bible Believing Dads and Anger”, because most of my reason for believing what I’m writing is based on scripture. If you don’t believe the Bible is the Word of God, then there will be little reason for you to believe what I’m saying.
I’m going to try to post three or four times a week for as long as possible. Let’s see how far I get.
Next: Anger: A Definition
Click here to see the list of posts in this series.
I’m glad you’re here. Please take a look around.
Also, I’d love it if you’d take a look at the information about the Bible Memorization Song CD that our family has been a part of.
Here’s a sample video. It’s bluegrass!
To the family to whom we are giving a meal because they are going through a challenging time:
When we hand you a dish with homemade lasagna and a salad kit, or spaghetti casserole, or a turkey hot dish, we’re not merely saying “be warm and well fed”. Here are a few ideas we want you to understand and consider while you’re sitting down to eat it.
1. Please enjoy this meal.
“Be warm and well fed” isn’t the only thing we are saying, but we are saying it. We want your family to have this meal to eat today and we hope your stomachs are filled and you find it delicious and satisfying.
2. We stand with your family.
As you walk through this crisis, please know that you are not alone. If you’ve just had a baby, we are joyful with you. If you’ve just lost a baby, we are grieving with you. We aren’t experiencing what you are, but we are on your team.
3. It’s understandable if you don’t feel like making a meal.
Here’s a thought that I hope no one in a church ever thinks: “My kids have just lost a grandparent, and now they have a mom who can’t even put together a supper.” You’re in crisis mode. It’s reasonable that you have your mind on other things. It’s reasonable if building up the inertia to cook dinner is difficult right now.
4. We want your family to have times of rest.
Long hospital visits have a cost. A new baby is hard work. Preparing for a funeral is a complex challenge. Please give yourself a break as you sit down to eat this.
5. Your God wants you to feel loved by the church.
So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith. (Galatians 6:10 ESV)
Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. (Romans 12:13)
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: (1 Peter 4:8-10)
As we’re giving you a meal, we’re doing what God is telling us to do. He wants this for you.
6. We hope you are experiencing moments of joy.
Another thought I don’t want anyone in church to think: “My spouse is in extreme discomfort because of the radiation therapy. It’s not right if I feel any bits of momentary happiness” Yes, it is. It’s okay. It’s right there in the Second Corinthians: “Sorrowful yet always rejoicing”. As we hand the meal to you, we’re praying that you’ll be surprised by joy (not to mention peace) that passes all understanding but is nevertheless real and God given. And maybe this meal can be a part of it.
7. Please know Grace exists.
When a gift is given, it’s not uncommon for the receiver to say, “Oh, you didn’t have to do that.” This is true. There is no law or moral code that says we must give meals. Just like there was no law or moral code that says that God had to provide a way of salvation for us. But He did, at great cost for His Son. A much greater cost than that of this meal. If you are feeling like you don’t deserve to receive it, remember: It doesn’t matter.
Our family has experienced the death of family members, hospital stays, two broken arms and the arrival of eight children. As such, we’ve been given many more meals than we have given to others. These seven messages are what I’ve heard when we’ve eaten the delicious and satisfying food provided by others. A meal given in difficult times is God speaking through his servants. To you.
Is this what you’re saying when you give a meal to someone?
Oh, and by the way, it turns that last Snake Book Post was my 300th post on this blog.
And this is my 301st.
As a dad blogger, I feel like something really should be said about this book:
We picked it up at Barnes & Noble – my son wanted a snake book – Bargain priced at $9.98. It’s a 180 pages, so it’s fairly thick book. Obviously it was a great deal.
But more recently I’ve had a chance to take a look and it’s different from what one might expect. Very different.
At the turn of almost every page there is a new snake or reptile species to learn about. It includes a “Did you know” set of interesting trivia about the species, a map of where in the world and a nice big picture of the creature. So far so good. And so far just like so many other kinds of helpful animal books.
But, dear parent, try reading one of these pages. Oh, wow, you might think, turning to a page at random, this particular snake is quite dangerous – look at that screaming young man, who is being bitten by it. This image is a little troubling, so you turn the page and – Oh, my, here’s another one, who can jump out of his cage and attempt to swallow the face of the unsuspecting snake wrangler who unwarily opened the lid. Okay, I’ll try to keep my eight year old from reading those two pages.
Now here’s another and, Dang, I’m really getting bad luck. Here’s a young lady who innocently tried to pick up some fire wood from a pile and now she’s screaming in agony with a Coral snake latched onto her ring finger.
I can honestly say that after looking at this book several times, I have not found a single non-disturbing page. Every snake has a story about how it caught someone unawares.
I was intrigued by this and wondered if this book was on Amazon and what the reviews were like. I was not disappointed. But apparently many reviewers were after getting this book. Nearly half of the reviews are one star.
One reviewer calls the authors, “ghouls”. The reviews have titles like, “Please don’t buy this” and “Terrible book for children”.
I quote from one review:
“DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK. Here is an example of the nauseating story-telling: “Racked with pain as the terrible venom eats away at his flesh, the fisherman casts off. As he drifts out to sea he cuts the bite wounds and tries to suck out the venom, but soon collapses into unconsciousness. He bleeds to death long before anyone spots his boat, and is found sprawled in a pool of his own blood.” This fictitious incident involving a Fer-de-lance snake is the stuff of children’s nightmares. In reality, the Fer-de-lance is a reclusive creature that plays an important role in its natural environment …”
I can only imagine that there is some dad who has a child who’s irrationally afraid of snakes and thinks, “I could buy him/her a book about snakes. Maybe that would demystify them and show them how helpful and non-dangerous they are.” Heaven help the parent who buys this book with that purpose in mind.
Seriously, you should have a healthy fear of snakes and you should have a healthier fear of this book.
By the way, I checked and as far as I can see, the Garter Snake, which Wikipedia describes as “single most widely distributed genus of reptiles in North America” and is mostly harmless, is not in this book. Hmmm.
Update: Bethyada mentioned in a comment that his son would love this book. Yes, I had been thinking that. There are some boys who are: This book has scary in it? I love scary! Bring me the scary! This book would be great for them. But perhaps not for their sister.
Dads, if you find yourself thinking, “Oh, yeah, I was going to tell her about that”, it might be time to schedule in more one on one conversations with your wife.