Responsible Father

Dads, if your kids are watching you use your computer, don’t look at the contents of your spam folder.

Dads, you know the oft-heard idea that sometimes women don’t want you to solve their problem, they just want you to listen and understand it?

Sometimes that’s true with kids, too.

Dads, for those of you in cooler climes, the combination of days getting short and occasional warm fall weather gives you an opportunity that you might not have at other times in the year.

Take an October walk in a big park with your kids (on a warm evening) and stay out until after it gets dark. Your kids will find it a privilege – they’ll feel like they are getting to do something they don’t normally get to do.

Dads, this tip is the connections of four truths:

1. Kids are interested in tornadoes.

2. Whirlpools are like underwater tornadoes.

3. A good stroke of a paddle, while canoeing, produces small whirlpools.

4. You want your kids to paddle well when they canoe.

So tell your kids that if they paddle with strong fast motion, they’ll see little tornadoes in the water.

Dads, if you are feeling angry at your kids, it most likely means you feel guilty about something you’ve done, or (more likely) haven’t done.

Figure out what it is.

Dads, you should teach your kids that while there are somethings that everyone should be relatively skilled at (reading, conversing with people) and while everyone should have specific things they are skilled at, they should not feel shame for not being able to be as gifted as another person is with almost any given task.

Dads, shame is a good thing sometimes, but you a child should only feel shame when he has does something foolish or sinful. Encourage them to not feel shame if they haven’t.

Dads, you should listen to your child’s questions, your child’s concerns, your child’s dreams, your child’s fears, your child’s stories…

But you should feel no responsibility to listen to your child relating what happened in a movie or television show they watched. You should, rather, beg out of that conversation.

Indeed, there are many adults who need to learn that this doesn’t make for scintillating conversation, so you may be doing your child a favor.

Dads, it might be natural to think, “The small kid gets the small plate.”

But why? Give the toddler the big plate. He’ll have more room to work and less chance of spilling on the table.

In your job you probably have a yearly review. And in most employee yearly reviews the individual often gets at least a few sentences about things you should work on or where your performance is less than optimal.

Dads, consider these things in light of your family and see if they can translate. Can they help you see ways that you could be a better dad or husband.